Live high

2011-04-03T12:27:00.003+08:00

WANNA MOVE TO TUMBLR AND START UPDATING.

2011-03-20T00:13:00.000+08:00

Moving to tumblr soon! This blog is getting old, boring and dead.

2011-03-19T13:28:00.001+08:00

I wanna be pampered :(

But as much as i want to, i rather stay independent. Feels really good to be earning money and able to buy stuffs on my own.

2011-03-03T22:42:00.001+08:00

Hiatus from twitter, blogger and facebook.

2011-03-03T20:34:00.000+08:00

Time and God will show me the right path, soon enough.

2011-03-02T19:08:00.001+08:00

I wish someone could see how much I'm hurting.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2011-03-01T23:59:00.002+08:00

Up till now i still havent got to watch my movie :( And i really wanna go to maroon 5 concert badly :( I shall just wait for the cd to come out then, sigh. anybody who's gonna bring me to watch the movie, i'll be so happy right now lol. YES im that desperate to catch that show.

payday is coming soon and im thinking of purchasing the tickets but not sure who i can go with :( I WANT TO SEE ADAM LEVINE! I want to scream, jump, and just have fun. First ever concert and i wanna go! I WANNA GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :(

2011-02-27T23:15:00.002+08:00

Sigh, too sweet. Seeing the way he hugs his girl, so tight, so close, and looks so sincere. :(

'' what kind of guy would i be if i was to leave when she needed me the most ? '

2011-02-24T23:19:00.003+08:00

I want to watch No strings attached so badly and no one wants to bring me to watch it :( Can i just buy my own ticket and watch it alone? (contemplating on this idea though) I don't want to watch online :( Or should i just wait for the cd to come out? I just really wanna watch it :( Getting broke too and payday is on the 7th.

This sucks :(

2011-02-24T23:08:00.004+08:00

posted something really long here, and ended up deleting it... i will keep praying for it to happen. One day it will... i hope :(

2011-02-20T23:04:00.001+08:00

I wanna update my blog like how i used to :( But i hate it that i don't have any pictures to upload. Don't have any to upload from any outing and that makes me just uninspired to blog. Sigh.

2011-02-19T01:19:00.001+08:00

Omg i miss this space and i totally need to update it! :( Work is soooo tiring me out! Been spending my days with my boy and i love him to bits and pieces :) Heading for a movie date and we're gonna go to a makeup sale. Yayyyyyyyy! And, i need to blog about bf's birthday soonish!

2011-02-06T22:49:00.000+08:00

just bought my own epilator and im so excited to use it. but after seeing this im really effing scared right now! fml.

2011-01-30T03:02:00.001+08:00

Random picture from work! Haven't been blogging lately cause work has been tiring me out :( Recently celebrated bf's 20th birthday and I need more pictures to blog about!

Kay gonna sleep now and heading for a facial later :)

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2011-01-26T01:27:00.000+08:00

Thats the worst thing someone could have ever said to me. Thanks, alot.

2011-01-23T17:47:00.001+08:00

Awwww, so sweet :(

2011-01-16T01:45:00.007+08:00

Got this from tumblr :)

You know a guy is into you when :

He sincerely looks at you,

Whispers words that will make you smile,

be with you,

do silly things with you,

hold your hand,

open the door for you,

drive you around,

wait for you and never complains,

shares clothes with you,

play with you,

carry you,

dance in the rain with you,

protect you,

accept your flaws and see every beauty in you,

appreciate you,

understands you,

respects you,

support you,

and accept you, no matter what

awwww.

BINTAN 2010!

2011-01-15T23:31:00.013+08:00

First day!

So picked love up from his block and head to tanah merah ferry terminal. Met up godma there and realised that we are early so we grab a bite cause all of us were so famished! After eating, bf and i went out and sat at one of the benches admiring the sea and camwhore and

took videos. Can i just say that i'm in love with his sony a55?! :( I want it so bad now, hmph. Anyway, after that it was time to board the boat and it was night time and there weren't

many people in the ferry. I ended up watching him sleep while i read my magazine -_-

Arrived at bintan and it was cold and windy. Boarded the shuttle bus and went to the hotel. Checked in and crashed on the bed! Hahaha, hotel beds are so syiok can? So we ordered room service and everyone gathered in my room and we watched tv while eating. After that,

mummy went to bed and me, bf, brother and godma roam around the hotel. And the sea is at our hotel so it's awesome! The breeze was so strong but it was so relaxing at the same time.

Brother and godma went to talk and explore the beach area and me and bf lay on the hammock and enjoying every moment of it! Can you imagine, it was just so awesome and magical. Just lying down on the hammock with your love one and stargazing at the same time and just chit chating ( and especially when its at bintan!) :) I love that moment!

♥

After that, brother and godma went to check out the club house and left the both of us alone

. The hotel is such an ass for giving one room only 1 key -_- So the both of us stayed in his room and waited till 3am for them to come back. Cause im sure bf will fall asleep before brother comes back and who's gonna open the door for him?! Lol. So we watched tv and entertained each other and by 2.30am both of us were stoning and staring at each other trying to keep each other awake! Haha! So funny. Ended up i watch him fall asleep again! Sheesh. Brother came back and i went back to my room and zonked out. Too tired already!

SOMEONE FALLING ASLEEP WHEN HE'S SUPPOSE TO WAIT FOR MY BRO TO COME BACK. -_______________________-

Day 2!

Woke up for breakfast and the both of us sat at our own table while my family members sat together. Cause the place was packed :( But nevermind, we just act like both of us on holiday together. Haha! It was just a typical hotel buffet breakfast. And everytime we walk back to the room we will never fail to look at the live iguanas. Well, not me! My mum, bf and godma will never fail to look at it and comment on it. My brother and me will be like 0.o Lmao. After breakfast the rest of them went back to the room to touch up and all that as we are going to tanjung pinang later in the day. So bf and i went to roam around the hotel while waiting for them to get ready. We explored the place, the beach, the mini zoo there and took many photos! Hehe. Then it was 12 so we headed to tanjung pinang, and it was a 1hr 20min ride there. God! It was the most bumpiest ride ever. But being pigs, the both of us fell asleep at the back of the car. Hahaha -____-''

Arrived there and roam around the shops there. The clothes and stuff there cannot make it. It was like a really old place and they were selling imitations and stuffs. There were shops named, topman but the clothes are all like matrep clothes. LOL. The name of the shops were so funny and the clothes they sell are ridiculus. We then got lost finding our way back but we still managed to find it thanks to bf and i ^^ After that, headed for seafood lunch at kelong! There were so much food and we were full to brim till dinner! Hahaha. Headed back to the hotel after a very hearty lunch and obviously everyone k.o on the way back. The both of us still can lie down and sleep at the back. Lolllll talk about comfort! Arrived and then mummy watched her show and the 4 of us went to play bowling. It was free! And boy, i suck at it -_- My godma is 54 and she's so good at bowling! She beat all of us, even my brother. Played 2 games, and i had fun! After that, we went to play pool for an hour. The whole time there i was laughing and laughing cause the pool area was in a open karaoke room and the people singing were horrible! Lmaooo and of course i suck at pool too. What am i even good at? Hahaha.

After that, we headed back and check out the saturday night party. Initially my brother wanted to go, they were playing house music and all. But once he lay down on the hotel bed, he fell asleep. LOL, that was how comfy the beds are! Everyone was asleep and me and bf went out to take a walk. Wanted to lay on the hammock again but it was raining earlier and it was wet :( But we managed to find a hut with beach chairs on it. So we just lay there and the sea was just in front of us. So romantic please :P Have i told you that the swimming pool is so pretty?! It is so nice ^^ and then we headed back to sleep cause we had a long day.

Breakfast! :)

Camwhoring before going off to tanjung pinang.

See how all of them are looking at the iguana -_-

Seafood lunch!

Bowling! No picture of the pool area though :(

Day 3!

Woke up again for breakfast and it was the last day there :( So we had to do activities there before we left. Initially we wanted to go on the bulgy ride? But someone doesn't have a liscense so he cant drive me in it :( Oh well! Haha. Wanted to do riffle shooting but we didn't have shoes. And ended up doing jet skiing! WOOHOOO! It was so awesome! I was like praying for life the whole time. And both baby and brother left me alone as they were braver to go deeper into the sea. Pfft! So i played the thing alone going back and forth, back and forth. HAHA, what to do. I'm scared if the thing topple over. Heheh. But it was so fun!!!!! There were so many activities to do there, i swear! From dry activities like flying fox, archery, and all that to wet activities like jetskiing, kayaking, banana boat and all that to activities in the jungle and all. Awesomeszx! There was even horse riding and elephat riding! Heheh.

After all that, the 3 of us went to the pool and took a quick dip. Both of us went to the jacuzzi, and the part where the water will massage your back :D I love love the pool! It even had a pool bar. Man, i had such a great time! :) At 12, we hurried back to shower and get ready cause we had to check out :( Proceeded to lunch by the pool and we all ate different kind of food. Godma and i ate korean, brother ate malay food, baby and mummy ate western. Had a good time laughing and making fun of godma and just joking around. After that, baby and mum went for leg massage. See this boy, so pampered by my mum :P I felt so stoned waiting for them to finish! Pfft. After that it was time to proceed to the ferry terminal and head back :( The boat ride back was so scary, since it's monsoon season, the ferry was swinging up and down , left and ride. But the both of us still fell asleep! HAHA.

PRETTY PRETTY SWIMMING POOL!

Lunch before going back to sg!

Baby and mum going for their massage!

View from the massage area!

In the bus otw to the ferry terminal.

In the ferry!

Reached singapore and bf followed us home and we watch tv before sending him home. Overall, i had such an amazing time there. I got to spend time with my family and my boyfriend. I couldn't ask for another way to end this year. Thanks to my mum for making all of this possible. And This trip had no cock ups or fights or anything like that. Everything went with the flow. I'm so blessed to be given this opportunity and this trip made me treasure my family and realising how much i love them and my boyfriend. It definetly brought us closer.

These beautiful memories will never be forgotton and thats why i blog about it to remind me of this wonderful trip.

♥

2011-01-12T00:50:00.001+08:00

Typed a whole chunk of words but end up deleting. It dawned on me that it doesn't matter how I feel.

Just keep standing there and watch me cry :')
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2011-01-08T01:16:00.000+08:00

I have the trip post saved in my draft but i can't publish it cause i haven't receive all of the pictures! Grrrrrrrrrrrr, i miss jet skiing :(

Anyways, studying for a paper tmr and i have 0 motivation + im sleepy. Die renee die :(

with or without you

2010-12-29T02:12:00.002+08:00

Who we are now, does not determine who are in the future. Yeah i may not be thin and have the nicest body but that does not mean i can't be slim in the future. 2011 resolution is to get back on track with gym-ing and eating healthy! So i have 2 days left to eat junks and 2011 i'll do my very best to not eat fast food or food at night. Damn you sinful food! I'll do my best and i'm gonna write all my new years resolutions on a huge paper and paste it right infront of my bed so i'll remind myself of what i want to achieve.

Have not received pictures of love yet. So i can't blog about bintan :( But every memory is still fresh in my head and heart.

2010-12-28T01:41:00.002+08:00

Gonna type out my bintan trip on draft first so that when i receive the pictures i can just insert them! Overall, THE TRIP WAS FA-FA-FA-FANTASTIC! I had such an amazing time with my love, it felt like we both were on our own holiday cause we stick like glue everytime. HAHA, highlight of the trip was definetly getting to do jetskiing together and on the first night, since the beach was at our hotel, we lay down on this comfy hammock and talk and talk and the breeze was so awesome! It was such a beautiful and memorable experience.

pictures on my next post!

:')

2010-12-21T22:40:00.001+08:00

2010-12-21T01:23:00.002+08:00

This life don't last forever

So tell me what we're waiting for
We're Better off being together
Than being miserable alone

Cause I've been there before

And you've been there before
But together we can be alright.
Cause when it gets dark and when it gets cold
We hold each other till we see the sunlight

Hold my hand

Baby I promise that I'll do
All I can
Things will get better if you just hold my hand
Nothing can come between us if you just hold,
hold my, hold, hold my, hooold, hold my hand.

The nights are getting darker

And there's no peace inside
So why make our lives harder
By fighting love, tonight.

Cause I've been there before

And you've been there before
But together we can be alright
Cause when it gets dark and when it gets cold

I can tell you're tired of being lonely

Take my hand don't let go baby hold me
Come to me and let me be your one and only
So I can make it alright til' the morning

Hold my hand

Baby I promise that I'll do
All I can
Things will get better if you just hold my hand
Nothing can come between us if you just hold,
hold my, hold, hold my, hooold, hold my hand.

2010-12-21T01:19:00.002+08:00

I just watched another self esteem vlog ( yes me and my videos ) , can't help watching them cause i got serious self esteem issues. Honestly these videos have helped me a whole lot. So, FUCK HATERS! They just have no life and wanna tease you just to bring you down. Obviously they're like your biggest fans since they observe every single thing bout you. Lol. Next time people want to tease you, just give them a _l_. HAHA, i honestly feel like doing that to some people who thing they're OMG SO FUNNY kind yknow? They think they're joke is so funny when it's indirectly hurting you. I live my life and as long as i'm happy you haters don't matter at all to me :P

' those who matter dont mind, while those who mind don't matter'

Haters are just a bunch of losers. I have wonderful people around me and you people ain't gonna bring me down.

Ps. 3 more days till 24th. Bintan with bf!

♡

2010-12-20T23:41:00.001+08:00

2010-12-19T03:14:00.002+08:00

I think he is awesome! His videos are so funny and he's so honest about everything. Ahhh, my new favourite guru to watch on youtube!

2010-12-17T11:18:00.002+08:00

I've been itching to do a real blog post of my day and such but i have not gone around to do so -_- Maybe i shall tomorrow? Cause mum got her bonus and she's bringing me shopping! Sometimes i feel so tempted to be a nurse cause their pay is good and the bonus they get is like say whaaaat?

2010-12-16T23:19:00.001+08:00

I'm obsessed over taking care of my face. Am I crazy? I wear mask 3-4 times a week. I use pore packs at least 1 time a week. I exfoliate everyday. I tone moisturize and cleanse at least 2 times a day. HAHA! Crazy -_-

Once I start working I shall purchase my clarisonic mia! Its a face tool to deeply clean your face and unclog pores. I've been wanting so bad. Its so expensive! But for the sake of good skin. Lol.

I'm thankful for not having acne prone skin. Else I will be very helpless. I don't have the best skin in the world but I just like to make sure I take real care and be strict with my face routine.

My boyfriend is turning as vain as me! Hahaha, he always ask me to do facial, put on mask, moisturize his face and all that! He even wanted to go to a real facial. Seeeee! So vain -_-

Ps! 8 more days to bintan!
Pps! I'm so excited for boyfriend's birthday!
Ppps! I'm crazily madly deeply in love with my boy! <3
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2010-12-15T21:49:00.001+08:00

Ahhhh I love my boyfriend so effing much I wanna kiss him and sniff him all over now!!!
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2010-12-15T01:14:00.001+08:00

We just have to
Open our eyes, our hearts, and minds
If we just look bright to see the signs
We can’t keep hiding from the truth
Let it take us by surprise
Take us in the best way

What about anger love and pain
And all the things you’re feeling
Can you touch them with your hand?
So are they really there?
Lets start question in ourselves
Isn’t this proof enough for us?
Or are we so blind
To push it all aside

We just have to
Open our eyes, our hearts, and minds

2010-12-14T21:10:00.000+08:00

Deafened by your silence
blinded by the tears
if you're looking for forgiveness
you won't find that here
cause you lied your way to heartbreak
and now its all too clear
that you will never be....

2010-12-14T18:56:00.001+08:00

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!

I've just found the perfect thing to do for next year! I'm so excited to do it! I hope it will turn out nice though. HEHE, IM SO EXCITED LIKE WANNA DO NOW LIKE THAT!

2010-12-14T18:51:00.002+08:00

What's my name?

2010-12-13T02:09:00.002+08:00

I don't know if i should say that life has been treating me good. Thing has been great since everyone is back together. Something i have been waiting for years. But the downside is having the both of them seperated. So i don't know if i should be happy or not..

I have something to look forward to during christmas eve. A awesome way to end the year. That is i'm going to Bintan with mum, godma, brother and bf. Isnt it just awesome? No plans for shopping though cause its all about relaxing down there. We're staying at a resort hotel so it will definetly be fab right? Heard from my cousin there is banana boat and all those beach stuffs. I really can't wait! :) My first holiday with the bf. Thanks mum for everything, i love you so much.

♡

2010-12-13T01:51:00.007+08:00

Hey.

Its almost 2 now and i'm going through pictures in my laptop that is so outdated. But i think i shall just upload them for memories sake :)

This is so long ago, when we attempted to cook chilli crab. So we shopped for crabs and ingredients and went back to cook. It tasted quite good yknow? See the picture can tell alrdy :P

This was when DFC went to raya, and we were bored waiting for the car so we snap pictures. Please don't mind the faces really -_-

k nite i wanna sleep

2010-12-12T21:15:00.002+08:00

My tears never meant a thing. It never ever did meant a thing.

I prove myself right all this while.

2010-12-10T16:49:00.001+08:00

i honestly forgotton how it feels like anymore. and i know, i will never get to feel that way again.

2010-12-07T23:31:00.002+08:00

So finally an update.

Things was pretty rough a few days ago, had a huge argument with the bf. And it was really bad. But things became better when we met. I know that our love is strong enough to overcome everything. And if we truly love each other, we won't let each other go. It was only 2 days since i last met him and i already felt so lonely just cause im so used to be with him every single day. Even if i were to run a small errand, he would be there to accompany me. And i really cant imagine life without him. Im so dependent on him. Of course i should be, cause i see him almost everyday! Lol.

We may not be the couple who has so little fights, who is happy most of the time. Yes, we fight alot. But we make up in the end. We fight alot, but every fight is a lesson. And every fight just make us know each other even better. But! When we're on good terms, we're really on good terms. We would ditsurb each other constantly and the day would just be filled of laughters. Like for instance, he bought this jacket that is so called ' korean ' inspired. And i keep disturbing him and taking videos of him. And once, he went to the toilet, and i was waiting for him outside. Know what i did? I took a video when he came out and acted like a huge fan and scream. HAHA, silly but it's so funny acting like he just came out of the airport which is the toilet. LOL. Since we always walk home together, he pulled the leaves so the water droplets drip on me, making me soaking wet. Pfffttt! But still, silly things like this make me happy :)

On a side note, i'm going to start work soon and i can't fetch bf everyday like how i usually do :( But good thing is, money will be rolling in baby! $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_________$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$! So many things to buy! Ordered the sigma F80 online and i really can't wait for it to arrive! Thanks baby for buying for me! :D

ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD, i failed my Food and Beverage management module. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. K expected. Retaking the paper on january. -__-

kay, shall update soon with pictures!

2010-12-07T13:14:00.001+08:00

Hiiiiiiii! I love my boyfriend :>
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2010-12-02T14:31:00.003+08:00

Hey baby, these few days has been so awesome. You know i love you so much right?

♥

ps. i know, my face is so fuckign fat! but only in this picture though :P

The littlest things that makes me happy.

2010-11-25T19:12:00.000+08:00

Are kisses on the forehead. Why is it always a one time only thing?
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

Happy 17th birthday to me!

2010-11-25T00:35:00.005+08:00

Okay, my birthday was like one month ago and im only coming around to this post. Hehe, blame me and my lazyness. Wanted to take all the pictures of my gift but im just to lazy! I'll post google pictures instead? Peace.

So 19th of october of course i spend it with my love. He came to my house in the morning with the gift in his hands. Let's just say, i sort of already knew what he wanted

to give me cause of my thousand and one hints to him. HAHA. Me being me, duh. Instantly tore up the wrapper and guess what is it?

I was super excited of course! Like who wouldnt be right? ITS.A.FREAKING.WII. Of course we started setting up the wii to the tv ( he did, not me. ) cause i aint smart in all this. Oh come on, what are guys for? HAHA, they are meant to do all this electrical thingy :P And once everything was done, we started playing the games. I suck at tennis, but im awesome at boxing! 99% of the time we were laughing, sweating, and in between match i was lying on the floor from too much laughing and of course i was hella tired! This thing gives you a grea

t workout yknow?! Wanted to reach 1000 for the boxing level but we were just too tired and we were sweating like pigs. LMAO.

Other than that, he gave me a board with my picture on it and sweet mushy words :P And also another board with wishes from my friends. Haha, he was so sweet to plan all of this during my party. I will blog about the party soonish! Since the pictures aint with me now. Here's a picture of the two boards!

So after all the playing of wii and stuffs, got ready to head to love's house to take something his mum cook for me. Bless! Then proceeded to al- ameen for our dinner. I was full to the brim! Ate alot of nice food. Thanks baby for the treat! I felt like a princess that day cause everything was paid for. HEHEEE.

Overall, this year's birthday is the best of the best! I had the best party for me, partly cause all my love ones were there. Plus, the craziest birthday bash ever. More of it, in the next post probably! Thanks baby for everything you did for my birthday. Thanks for working and saving your money just to purchase sucha huge gift for me. Thanks for everything basically! Im very touched for everything you did. I never expected all of this. I promise you that i will make your birthday a memorable one for you. I wanna make you very happy like how you made me happy on my birthday. THANKS AGAIN BABY, I COULDNT ASK FOR MORE :)

♥♥♥

2010-11-09T23:51:00.000+08:00

maybe this time, its for the best.

2010-11-08T23:50:00.001+08:00

2010-11-08T17:35:00.000+08:00

you know whats depressing, when your standing there crying, and having to wipe the tears off by yourself.

2010-11-04T07:06:00.002+08:00

i was thinking bout him, thinking bout me, thinking bout us, what we gonna be?

open my eyes yeah, it was only just a dream.

and i shall keep on dreaming till that day comes. :(

2010-10-29T08:12:00.002+08:00

FUCKING FUNNY I ROFLMAO!!!

RAY WILLIAM JOHNSON FTW!!!!

2010-10-28T23:31:00.003+08:00

I hate low self esteem so much. Its funny how i take so many pictures and have them in my computer, edit them, take another look at it and never upload it. I hate everytime how i want to upload a picture, and all i get is to feel sad, depressed. I dont why its just so hard to have confidence. I watched videos on how to improve it, tell myself all the time but it is just so hard. I can't even look in the mirror without feeling like this. I even avoid looking in the mirror when im out in the toilet or changing room. Its just so hard :(

will you tell me im beautiful everyday?

2010-10-28T23:15:00.000+08:00

How did we ever come to this

I never thought you'd be

someone I'd have to miss

and there I was caught in your game

needing answers that never came

and we took a chance,

you said you were strong

strong enough

but you were wrong...

and now I'm...

Deafened by your silence

blinded by the tears

if you're looking for forgiveness

you won't find that here

cause you lied your way to heartbreak

and now its all too clear

that you will never be....

Look at her

she won't ever compare

you can say you're sorry

but I still don't care

was she worth this mess

was she worth this pain

you can say it's her fault

but you're both to blame

Looking back it was all so easy

I hope you know you're my last mistake

Don't come around and say you need me

I won't stay

Now I know that you were so deceiving

was it fun for you to walk away

I hope you liked it

cause she's so damn easy

you won't change

2010-10-28T04:39:00.001+08:00

I miss how in between kisses you would tell me how you feel.. :(
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2010-10-27T00:46:00.000+08:00

Been meeting boyfriend every single day now. Meeting him again tomorrow. I can't wait to see your face tomorrow love! :)

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2010-10-25T05:52:00.000+08:00

FUCKYEAH.

2010-10-24T17:45:00.001+08:00

Gonna start finding a job tomorrow. I can't take it. Everywhere I go, money is spend. Worse is I have to pay for whatever I want :( how like that? I want to pamper myself. That will make me happy. So job finding starts tomorrow. But I don't know where to work. Wanna try wingtai but I know my sat and sun will be gone if I try sales. But I don't wanna work at kkh again. I want to do something I like :( then again, people would say I'm selfish. Why can't I just live my life the way I like it?! I'm fucking deprived.

There is only one life for everyone and I'm already regretting everything that I can't do at the age of 17? Aren't I suppose to live my life and have fun? Why can't I? :( I just wanna enjoy and enjoy and enjoy. But no, I can't.

I hate my life. I want to be who I am. Fuck my life. WHY ARENT I CHASING FOR WHAT I WANT?

I think its time I should.
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2010-10-24T04:01:00.004+08:00

things I'm saving up for!
1. Epilator $100
2. The hd video recorder $399
3. Clarisonic Mia $ihavenoidea,300 maybe?

4. Mario Badescu pimple thingy!

OMG WHEN I GET MY PAY, I'LL SHOP AT SEPHORA. and i can haul haul haul! Sephora wait for me!

Saving starts now! Off to bed. Xoxo.

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld from M1.

2010-10-20T03:05:00.001+08:00

I hate low self esteem. I hate how it is to look in the mirror and feel horribly depress. Why don't i have confidence in myself?

2010-10-18T03:35:00.004+08:00

Arghhhh i can't sleep but i shall sleep soon and i hope my boyfriend read this! BABY, WHAT DID YOU BUY FOR ME? YOU MAKING ME SO SUSPENSE YKNOWWWWWW!!!!! :(

2010-10-15T08:17:00.002+08:00

ALALAAAAAAA. can i have someone sing to me like that too?? * puppy eyes *

2010-10-15T04:12:00.002+08:00

So................. its 4.19am right now and i'm not sleepy. Thinking of not sleeping and cleaning up room later, print pictures, so many things to do so little time :( Something to look forward tonight though! Going to marina square to have swensens. OH THE BREATH OF FRESH AIR AT NIGHT! Friday at night at town , oh how i miss that :( Im gonna be a free little birdie tomorrow. I'll never know when i get a chance like that again. Night life, i like that. Now, that's what im talking about. But i don't get a chance to live that part of my fantasy. I just want to be me yknow? Life............ they say you should chase for your own happiness? It's depressing when you can't get to enjoy that littlest things that make you happy.

Moving on............

I can't help myself :( I hate myself for all this. I hate it, i just want to cry. I always tell myself that i would not do it. I shall stop once and for all but i can't. I havent got that courage or will or faith to stop. I always come back running to it. Although it will end up hurting me. I don't know why i always feel like that. Insecurities, insecurities.. Do you know how i hate feeling like that? :( I feel useless, i loathe myself for doing all these. I feel worthless, i hate it. I DON'T LIKE IT! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

WAKE UP RENEE. WHEN ARE YOU GONNA MOTHAFUCKIN REALISE IT!!!

2010-10-14T02:45:00.003+08:00

So last week i was introduced to watch Boys Over Flowers( BOF ). Yes this show came out eons ago and i only came around to watch it last week. -__- AND, i was so addicted to it, i finished watching the whole thing within one day with 25 episodes. And one episode is about 45 mins? I didn't slept at all cause i was glued to the screen. Oh come on, who can resist LEE MIN HO? Heheheheeee, i cried afew times too watching the show cause it was so sweet. Sorry but i'm a girl and i get touched easily. I wonder if my boyfriend would rather get beaten up than me breaking a finger? I also want to be pampered and get a full makeover like the show also can? LOL, kay im just dreaming.

Okay i have motivation to blog these days. Hehehehehe. But for today let me just upload this song im obsessed about. Go listen! :)

2010-10-07T00:37:00.002+08:00

Yes so true. You want to tease me and then laugh about it? It's just only because you don't RESPECT me as who i am. And you know what? I don't even give a damn about you and neither do i respect you. And your words, will never hurt me. Yeah i maybe feel hurt, but i will get over it. Especially boys, they don't understand how girls feel about their body. They DON'T. They just don't. So what if guys wanna say your fat? Well, fuck them. Cause they ain't perfect themselves. Like seriously, guys treat it as a joke. I cannot tolerate guys like that. Seriously, you guys take 1min of your life just to insult? Tsk. I guess that only make you feel better.

Omg i cant say how much i love youtube.

2010-10-05T20:07:00.003+08:00

Its true. Even the closest person to you or your friends might say words that WILL hurt you. They might think its just words, but they'll never know how those words hits you like a stab in the heart. Can't deny the fact that there will be people teasing you, insulting you, even my mum does it sometimes. And there are even my friends who said im fat. And treat it as some kind of a joke. And then say sorry? Ha. We can never avoid comments like these and there are times where i wish i can just stick a tape to their mouth and eat back their words. Im happy, and that's what really matters.

2010-09-22T22:12:00.002+08:00

DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW IT FEELS WHEN THE PERSON YOU LOVE LEFT YOU IN THE HELLHOUSE WATCHING YOU ON YOUR KNEES CRYING MY HEARTS OUT? DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW IT FEELS LIKE BEING LEFT ALONE HAVING THE LIVE IN FEAR EVERYDAY?

2010-09-20T23:15:00.003+08:00

When im down, there was no one beside me to hug me and wipe away my tears. There's no one who would ask me how i feel and what im going to do. That concludes why in life that we are the only one who got our back in life. When things crumble down, i have to get back up myself. Im the one who witness my life and im the only who understands how i feel. So i have to motivate and tell myself that things are gonna be alright. Im on my own.

2010-09-18T23:41:00.003+08:00

was getting ready just now ( dont mind the face) and decided to irritate her by snapping pictures. heh heh heh. seeee, she secretly also looks at the camera. i love her so much :)

Happy 2 years.

2010-09-14T23:22:00.004+08:00

This post is going to be dedicated to my boyfriend. We go through countless of fights, small ones and huge ones. But, god knows how blessed i am to have him. I believe there is no other guy like him in this world. He is my one in a million. If god allows, he is my mine and mine only and let keep it that way. I can't deny that sometimes i do get angry and irritated with him but i believe he is a great catch. The things he does for me shows how much he loves me :)

Both of us gets jealous easily but i know he behaves that way because he loves me whole heartedly and im thankful for that :) He's always there for me and to catch me when i fall. He is not just my lover but he is also my bestfriend and he is a part of me. He lets me be who i am when i'm with him. He never critisize me nor does he make fun of me. He will take tons of pictures and does goofy faces with me. He lets me lie on him during movies and makes me feel secure by hugging me from behind. He gossips with me and does not bitch about me. He makes me feel beautiful whenever im feeling insecure about myself. He never fails to make sure that i reach home safetly and he always fetch me from home when we meet. And when things gets tough, when i feel like i can't tell my girlfriends about it, he is the one that cheers me up.

I still remember clearly what happened 2 years back, and i love how we always reminise about the past and im thankful that i got you b. Who would have thought that the guy i eye candied during sec one could be the guy im with when im in sec 3? I never regretted meeting you and im glad that it happen. You showered me with love from april to september and it was the best days of my life texting you, chatting with you everyday. I remember the first time you sent me home and i still remember the first time you kiss my cheeks, it made me smile for the rest of the week just thinking about it. I remember how you sacrificed your study time for o levels just to spend time with me. I remember the first time you held my hands. 2 years has passed since 15th september 2008 and i'm still with you baby and we despites our ugly fights we never broken up before :)

He is a beautiful person inside out, and its amazing. We fight, we hurt each other but i never meant all those harsh words to you baby. Everytime i open up my drawer i see all the stuffs you did for me. You made me 3 videos, you wrote how you felt in 4 large papers, you wrote how you much you love me and tied them up with ribbons, the card you gave me when we fought, the card for my birthday, you gave me two small carebears and the limited edition white carebear which you went around searching for. The list could go on and on.. But the thing i treasure the most is the love that you gave me. You make me feel so in love with you just by looking at your picture. I love how we fight and laugh instantly when we see each other. I love all the times we spent together be it spending the whole day together or spending just a few hour watching movies together. I love the times when we cook and bake together. Basically, everytime we spend together is awesome :)

Even though we are in different schools right now, i know that he is faithful and never flirts behind my back :) He makes sure that im never neglected even when he is out with his friends :) Thanks baby, there is no one like you indeed.

Yes there are tons of other guys out there but none of them is you. None of them can be compared to you, zulfiqhri. I love my boyfriend and your still the one i want, love. And no, i'm not going to throw away the best damn thing that happen to me. I love you so much baby and i can't wait to spend time with you on thursday. Lets eat till we get bloated aite baby?

xoxo.

I don't need to ever exchange (you know I)

I don't need to ever replace (you know I)

I'm not going any damn place (you know I)
You should know that I - I - I ohh - I

I don't need no other one, I don't need no other one

I don't-oh-oh

I dont need no other one, I done need no other one

All I need is you

Baby can't you see, Baby can't you see

Oh - oh - Oh

You're the one I need, Only one I need

oh - Oh - oh
That I can't believe, No I can't believe
oh - Oh - oh
Would ever think, I would ever leave
oh - Oh - oh oh
I'm staying here, I ain't going no where
You should know I - I - oh I

Look

I don't need change but you know what that's funny

Can't you see the time who's got money, money

Cash out and leave with a ten dollar, ten dollar bill won't change on my honey
Rockstar shades and you looking so stunning, stunning
That's how it looks when we be hand in hand
And walking the streets when nobody else can match our flavor
How could you ever think that I was ever gonna change ya
I ain't never gonna change ya

I don't need to ever exchange (you know I)
I don't need to ever replace (you know I)
I'm not going any damn place (you know I)
You should know that I - I - I ohh - I

I don't need no other one, I don't no other one
I don't-oh-oh
I dont need no other one, I don't need no other one
All I need is you

2010-08-28T14:32:00.001+08:00

I don't know why I'm just so disappointed this time round. I really wanted it to happen. I'm crying. That's how upset I am now.

Ps. I'm fucking scared to clean my room but no one wanna help me. fucking scared.

2010-08-28T13:22:00.000+08:00

I was really hoping that it would happen :( haiz. No expectations = no disappointment. Upset upset upset.

2010-08-27T13:09:00.000+08:00

I swear I'm deprived of a social life, deprived of a hobby, deprived of going home late at night like I used to. Where have the real me gone? Cooped inside dying to come out. But the real me is gone cause she never had a chance. Never had a chance at all..

2010-08-20T01:08:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wish all that would stop cause all i really want is ............... :( i hate it so much when i start to think like that cause its not all about that. sigh. i wish my bf would hug like this everytime :(

2010-08-05T18:58:00.000+08:00

You forgotten. You forgot the reason why. That's upsetting.

2010-08-02T17:46:00.002+08:00

Hey blogger, im in a dilemna now :(

Sigh, i'm so sick of school. I don't want to study tourism anymore. I've been skipping school and i don't look foward to it anymore. This was never my first choice anyway since i knew my mum would never let me study what i want. And my results aren't in the mail too, fuck mdis can. How i wish i can stop studying now and not waste the 2k for the second half of the term. What's worse is that my mum want me to continue to degree which is another 20-30k wasted on something i don't enjoy. I want to work, i want to earn and save that money to prove to her that i really have the interest to study at cosmoprof. I guess i have to slowly convince her, i don't want to end up in regrets. I wish she would stop expecting so much from me and stop expecting to be like my cousins. So what they are sucessful? Stop comparing and stop thinking about your pride and face please :(

2010-07-30T23:42:00.002+08:00

You can be the peanut butter to my jelly
You can be the butterflies I feel in my belly
You can be the captain and I can be your first mate
You can be the chills that I feel on our first date

You can be the hero and I can be your side kick
You can be the tear that I cry if we ever split
You can be the rain from the cloud when it's stormin'
Or you can be the sun when it shines in the mornin'

Don't know if I could ever be
Without you cause boy you complete me
And in time I know that we'll both see
That we're all we need

Cause you're the apple to my pie
You're the straw to my berry
You're the smoke to my high
And you're the one I wanna marry

Cause your the one for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you (for you)
You take the both of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two

You can be the prince and I can be your princess
You can be the sweet tooth and I can be the dentist
You can be the shoes and I can be the laces
You can be the heart that I spill on the pages

You can be the vodka and I can be the chaser
You can be the pencil and I can be the paper
You can be as cold as the winter weather
But I don't care as long as we're together

You know that I'll never doubt ya
And you know that I think about ya
And you know I can't live without ya
No..

I love the way that you smile
And maybe in just a while
I can see me walk down the aisle

Cause your the one for me (for me)
And I'm the one for you (for you)
You take the both of us (of us)
And we're the perfect two

We're the perfect two
We're the perfect two
Baby me and you
We're the perfect two

2010-07-28T00:31:00.002+08:00

i wish my boyfriend would kiss my forehead everytime we part :(

2010-07-26T22:28:00.003+08:00

My baby! *hearts*

This boy here is so cute you know, he wanted to act like he's chicken was missing but i already saw him eating it while walking to the lift after sending me off. HAHA, baby baby. I'm sorry for scratching and pulling your skin until there's bruises and blood :( I really didn't mean it. I feel so bad after seeing the marks and blue black on your arms so i cried cause im such a bad gf :( I promise i wont do it again okay b? :D I love you so much and i hope we will lessen our fights from now on. I'm not going to compare anymore cause i know that no other guy would treat me like how you do :)

This guy here is beautiful. He is a beautiful person with a beautiful personality. Love naturally comes equally for both of us. I knew it since the day i saw you. It’s rare and untouchable, yet so evident in everything we do. It comes from deep inside, almost hidden, so deep in our hearts that it is impossible to recover, except for that one person. I couldn’t imagine my life without him, and even if we aren’t together, just knowing each other are out there is enough hope to keep living. Together it would be like heaven. Gorgeous and so close to perfect it’s unimaginable. We would have the best conversations about everything under the sun, whether it was something stupid or something deep. Either way, I could fully trust him I could do anything with him. All the stupid things I do and all the dreams I hope to come true. He would help me do them and he would take me seriously. He is up for anything and I can be spontaneous with him. We would get through all the things we never imagined being able to get through, just because we supported each other. Our days would be filled with laughs and smiles, true happiness and soon after, true love.

We need to stop breaking each other down. We need to stop this jealousy, the insecurity, the envy and the hurt. We need to stop comparing each other, putting each other down and hurting ourselves. Because you are beautiful. There is no need to compare, no need to envy, no need to speak badly and no need to bring each other down. We need to start sticking together, because in life we’re all we’ve got :)

What’s important is that at the end of the day, you find each other side by side and you’re happy knowing that he/she is yours. We need to enjoy the relationship while it’s there, for if you waste your time in doubts and insecurities, you’ll never appreciate how wonderful it is to fall in love.

"If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day, so I never have to live without you." -Winnie the Pooh

ps. thanks for loving me cause you're doing it perfectly. i love you my loverboy! :P

2010-07-26T00:12:00.002+08:00

awwwwwww my bestfriend is finally attached! im so happy for her, and i hope you last long with him. Even longer than you know who okay! :D Im sorry for always missing and not texting you or anything but i ensure you that you are always on my mind and its true that i miss you :( its great that even though we dont meet up much nor talk to each other, we are still close! :) there are so many things that i do not know about you anymore:( remember that time when we said we are going to tell each other what we feel and all that? i remember.... and i hope one day our sleepover will happen. it will be so awesome! :D i miss you bestf and i want you to know that i love you! *hugs and kisses*

2010-07-24T10:55:00.000+08:00

Hey guys! I'm blogging from my phone right now, hehehe. So I'm currently resting before I start to cook some light snacks for a small picnic later. Can't find my tent!!!! :( its okay cause I is have a huge mat! Hahaha. So tough being a girl/woman eh? We have to do all the work! Pffft kay gtg will try to update soon! Xoxo.

2010-07-13T00:52:00.002+08:00

There wasn't ngaji today and i slept like a pig from 5 to 10! and now i can't sleep, awesome much :( I don't know why im so sleepy today i even fell asleep when people are talking to me, LOL. Short update only!

xoxo.

2010-07-11T00:41:00.002+08:00

Soooo it's been a long time i've not updated and i miss you blog!

Monday's gonna be the start of a new term and that's just so fast ain't it? I got to start paying attention in class and go to the gym often. I once said that once i've take my degree i want to take my diploma at cosmoprof right? But i'm thinking, after diploma i want to work and save to about 3k? And then apply for my diploma at cosmoprof then continue with degree. It's so expensive, 30k :( I feel so awful for sucking the money out of my mum.

I'll try my best to blog often! For now, watch the video cause that was taken at woodlands waterfront today. And me and baby were pretending to be tourist. Hahaha just for fun :)

2010-06-29T23:24:00.001+08:00

Hey bloggy. This is the time when i really need someone right now. I don't like this, i don't like this at all. I just want to cry the pain away.

2010-06-25T01:00:00.002+08:00

Hello blogger! I miss you. Hehe. Sorry for ditching you for tumblr :( Uhmmm, term 2 is starting soon. Why is everything happening so fast? Next week monday is already marketing exam. Then other 3. Shitttz i hope i pass them during the first try. Cause all i have been doing is sleeping at home. I want to study but i really ain't in the mood for studying YET. Must start studying later or else i'm doomed for sure. Going out on saturday, then watching baby match on sunday.

Hahaha i know i should be studying and not going out. But i can't help it :( Nevermind, I HAVE FAITH. Hehe.

Till then, xx!

try sleeping with a broken heart

2010-06-22T00:04:00.002+08:00

i deleted the whole chunk that i wrote. fuck why does it matter anyway.

2010-06-18T23:10:00.002+08:00

This boy up here is mine mine mine and all mine!

He irritates me all the time with his dancing singing and many other acts but i still love him very much. Right B? :P Can't wait to go with this boy tomorrow and take pictures to fill up out album. I think it's gonna look so nice with all the pictures in it. 3 months left to fill up 200 pictures. Alot eh? But i think it can be filled up cause i'm forever snapping pictures. Hehe. Thanks baby for always being there for me, doing my assignment for me, clipping my nails for me. Without him, i think i would be so helpless. That's for sure. Sorry for always fighting with you :( But i know we will always make up right baby? I love you B! :)

over my head

2010-06-05T11:55:00.002+08:00

Its 12pm right now and i have been at starbucks since like ....... 10am. And to be honest, i have been stoning 80% of the time. Hahaha, i'm so bored. I'm alone cause bf went to johor leaving me all alone in sg :( Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh, i need need need to finish IT by today. And get started on marketing next monday. And then i'm done with assignments. And then exams. OMG, everything is happening so fast i just can't keep up.

I think i can throw up looking at economic's essay qns for the exam. I just hope i don't remodule for business management and econs. Cause i have not been paying attention, skipping classes and such. So much for wanting to do well in private. Sigh. But no, i ain't giving up now cause i know i can! Since secondary 2, the words that i never fail to say every year till now is, " im stress " HAHAHA, i know right. I really need to step my game up and stop procrastinationg for god sake :(

My aim right now is to finish this 7 month diploma and not remodule. So i sort of plan out what i wanna do the next few years.

Finish my diploma
Finish my 2 years degree
Get done with my attachment
Get the cosmoprof diploma

and the get a job perhaps? sometimes i wonder why i chose this course when i really am interested in make up you know? but no worries, i will get that diploma in a few years time. Whether it comes in handy or not, we shall see. But like economics lecturer says, " never stop learning when your young " so yeahhh, i will still keep my interest in make up. I ain't a professional or what, but i'm still learning and who knows i can do some part time work in the future? Teehee.

OKAY RENEE, GET BACK TO WORK.

k bye! xx.

2010-05-26T23:02:00.002+08:00

Last day of school for the week and then a 3 days break. Okay okay, I WILL DO MY ASSIGNMENT NEXT WEEK. Come on renee, stop slacking. Mini gathering on friday, sending mummy off on saturday, date with bf on sunday.

But i gotta go through class tomorrow, i hate deciding what to wear to class yknow! Can headache every morning. Im actually bored and i have nothing to blog. HAHA.

k bye

2010-05-24T23:24:00.000+08:00

1. I can never tell when the fuck I’m gonna get it so when I do get it, I usually don’t have a pad on at that moment.
2. It’s never on schedule and I’ve had it for almost 3 years.
3. No masturbating or sex unless you want bloody fingers/penis.
4. Must wear dark pants because it might leak.
5. It smells like fucking fish.
6. After taking a shower, you can’t wipe your vagina with your towel because the blood will stain it so you have to put your underwear right away without drying it and it feels all weird.
7. STAINS ARE A FUCKING KILLER.
8. Waste of my good panties from the Philippines.
9. You can feel it flow when you sneeze, cough, laugh, jump, stand, ANYTHING.
10. I have to sleep in some awkward ass position so the blood won’t stain my sheets.
11. I always have to change my sheets because the blood.
12. I don’t even like the color red.
13. Your pee is red not yellow anymore.
14. CRAMPS OMG
15. Mood swings but a lot of girls don’t even get mood swings. They just use that as an excuse to be a bitch.
16. I cry 2x more than I usually do when on my period.
17. Must change your pad every other hour.
18. Must carry extra pads.
19. I’m usually more hungry than usual.
20. I JUST HATE MY PERIOD. RAHH

parachute

2010-05-23T11:55:00.003+08:00

Okay okay, i shall squeeze in some time to blog before i get ready and head out.

I need to start my assignments this week cause i just realise the deadline is like in 2 weeks time. And i'm stressed just thinking of my marketing assignment plus IT. Arghhhhhh, and i haven't started on econs at all! Cause we have no idea what to do on. Help me :( And exams are nearing and i have not started studying. So much to do so little time. Many people to meet up, many assignments and exams, my gym sessions. WHERE TO FIND TIME LIKE THAT! :/

School has been awesome xcept for morning train rides. I need to tell myself not to slack at home after school. Need to start doing assignments. And i shall do it tomorrow. Cause i promised myself that i will study hard since my mum paid for my school fees. Stress leh.

Gotta bathe now, blog soon! xoxo.

Better help me with my assignments ehh! :P

2010-05-15T23:39:00.002+08:00

School has been very great these days since the bond between us are much closer. And the fact that we take tons of pictures like everywhere! Hahaha. 4 assignments, one down. and 3 more to go :( Need to finish my IT by tomorrow and i need to start my marketing assignment. And bloody hell econs. I don't want to remodule man. Econs is killing me. Not only the lecturer is old and boring, the whole entire module is -____- Am excited for food and beverage management though next semester.

Good luck to myself cause i'm struggling with econs -.-

672

2010-05-06T23:07:00.004+08:00

Hey i wanna make this a fast one since i'm really tired and sleepy right now. My eyes are barely open. So tired these days i can just fall asleep once i hit the pillow. I never used too feel this way about blogging. This might just be my last post cause i don't have time to update nor manage it and i will only update when i have the mood to.

anyway read through this post to see pictures.

So about awhile ago, i went to the fish spa with boyfriend for the first time. It was alright, it wasnt crowded as we were the only ones there. So, pastamania > farm mart > vivo > home. It was a good experience, those who never been to fish spas before you really should!

as i type, my eyes are closing i wish i could just doze off now. sigh

We also went to sentosa awhile back and he was so pack with tourist and singapore poreans everywhere. It was my first time going on most of the rides there. There were promotional packages that were offered and we payed 90+ bucks. I should say that it is quite and alright price cause we got to do alot of stuff.

Bascially we took the cineblast, 4d show, desperados, luge, skytrain. The luge was very fun and since it was my first time ever on that, i was really scared i lose control of it. But turns out that it was easy to handle. The 4d show and the cineblast is something that you take and then laugh all the way. Xcept for the 4d show, the cineblast was a ' scary ' experience? Cause the thing moves like a simulator and it is really fun. One thing i hope that could be long is the skytrain ride, should have taken it at night though.

Ended the day at about 7+ and headed to chicken rice shop for dinner. I swear i was so tired by the time i reached home.

Next up is wavehouse sentosa with my brother, godma and boyf. I really want to drink the apple juice from there and also the chicken drumlets. Hoping to get it on sunday. Hehe. Yeah, we went there but we DID NOT try out the flowrider. I really want to this sunday, i guess i have to do it alone. So we spend our day just relaxing there and playing at the small pool. The atmosphere at night is really awesome, it feels so relaxing. That is the kind of thing that i like. It was a great day cause i spend time with my love ones.

Hmm besides all these meet ups there are also other outing which we didn't snap any pictures. Too many that i can't state all of them. Been watching alot of movies lately, datenight, ipman 2, iron man soon and then the last song.

Check out em pictures. More at facebook! :)

2010-05-03T23:06:00.000+08:00

''Relationships can never be perfect. You can never force your partner to be faithful in the same way that a normal relationship should be. What’s important is that at the end of the day, you find each other side by side and you’re happy knowing that he/she is yours. We need to enjoy the relationship while it’s there, for if you waste your time in doubts and insecurities, you’ll never appreciate how wonderful it is to fall in love. '' - via tumblr.

2010-05-02T20:13:00.002+08:00

Will update soon on my batam trip! Overall it was very boring xcept' for the massage and the hotel room. Believe it or not i only bought two stuffs there hahaha i can't believe it either -.- Okay okay, i'm real tired and i got a bruise on my forehead ( will tell you bout it ) :(

School tomorrowwww, sigh.

669

2010-04-30T22:59:00.001+08:00

Going off to batam in about 9 hours time and nothing is pack yet haha typical me. Always doing things the last minute -_- I'll blog about batam if i have pictures, so i'll be back blogging by sunday.

xoxo!

668

2010-04-29T15:04:00.002+08:00

T.G.I.F tomorrow and it marks the third week in school. One more week and it's going to be a month in MDIS! Time really flies and school work are pilling up but no worries, i'm managing well :) School has been great cause of em' classmates and clique. It's like a routine everyday yknow? Come to class > Toilet > Lectures > Break ( eat and then out to school for smoke break ) > Back to lectures > End at 11.30 And no, i don't smoke but most of my classmates do haha -_-

I really need to clean my room now * shows lazy face *....

667

2010-04-28T22:23:00.004+08:00

Suppp.

I didn't attend school today and went to town instead with my new heels. And i think i made an acheivement by not complaining of pain because the heels really killed my foot -.- But, i swear i fell in love with this nike air max shoe ( i wouldn't have spotted it if a certain someone didn't drag me in nike -_- ) cause it was so gorgeous and it is PINK! A plus point there. First up was to popeyes cause i had a huge craving for it and the mash potatoes are to die for. I feel like eating it right now hahaha. Trained to orchard just to get my concealor but it was not in sephora yet so i went to mac instead. Oh my god i feel stupid cause i should gone to mac like a long time ago already. The MUA did my undereye and my dark circles were gone. GONE!

If you don't know me, i have really bad under eyes. So being me, i went ahead and bought it with the foundation as well. Hehehe you should have seen the smile on my face and i keep checking the products like every half an hour. So after that i was drag to the nike shop by the boyfriend just to see his boots -_-' I'll do my best to get it for you alright? :) And i want that shoe okay if your reading this! :P

Basically i had fun today and i need to get on track for school since i didn't attend them for two days. Gonna get squashed on the train tomorrow damn i hate that. 2 more days and im off to batam. Hopefully i can get some shopping done there hehee.

And no one knows why i'm into you
Cause you'll never know what it's like to walk in our shoes
And no one know the things we've been through
Can never measure up to half of what i put you through
That's why we'll break through

And i don't care what they say i'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you i wanna be with you
And i don't care what they do i'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you i'm gonna be with you

You are everythin' in my life see the joy you bring
And ain't no one i compare you to
And i know that you will never walk away from me no matter what
And that's why i plan to do the same thing for you
And i want you to know

And i don't care what they say i'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you i wanna be with you
And i don't care what they do i'm gonna be with you
I'm gonna be with you i'm gonna be with you ♥

Ps. when i was watching that video just now, i suddenly remember the first time you fetch me from school, hehe so cute :P

666

2010-04-26T23:17:00.002+08:00

'Cause I hate that you left without hearing the words that I needed you to

And I hope you find it,
What you're looking for
And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be
And so much more

And I hope you're happy, wherever you are
I wanted you to know that
And nothing's gonna change that
And I hope you find it

Am I supposed to hang around and wait forever?
Last words that I said
But that was nothing but a broken heart talkin', baby
You know that's not what I meant
Call me up, let me know that you got this message that I'm leaving for you
'Cause I hate that you left without hearing the words that I needed you to

I hope you found what you have been looking for, bro.

2010-03-29T23:22:00.003+08:00

2010-03-29T23:21:00.001+08:00

turning into dust.

2010-03-29T22:36:00.003+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLQF_vwfu3A

MUST WATCH.

Heyyyy sup guys. Miss you? Ahaa.

Okay, im left with only a few days left in work. I'm going to miss them, especially money. I am broke now like seriously -.- I don't have cash left to buy stuffs for myself. Sigh, hate this much. Looks like i ain't getting anything..

Anyway, i had an awesome today yesterday with my brother and godma. You know, i wish i could spend the whole night with them but due to work i can't. Shucks. Yes, i am family girl. I love them, and when you don't have your whole family, you just want to treasure all time left with them. So basically, went for gym yesterday. Sweat like whole lot maaaan. Gym again this wed and then nationaly bodybuilding competition on 10th april. Good ol times. Love going to gym now because i have fun there and i have my own time. And meeting awesome friendly people there. After workout, went for dinner at bottle tree. PERFECT PERFECT PERFECT! I swear i could stay there the whole night.

What more could i ask mayn. The place was so relaxing, music blasting off, awesome people serving us, and of course personal talk with them. It feels so good to just take everything off my chest and my brother share everything with me. I would want this day to happen again, i just like it so much yknow? That's my kind of life totally. Arghhhhh, i want another day of it :(

So after day we went to bojangles at woodgrove to sit around watch people play pool and drink. I drank mango juice kay while my bro drinks his whisky -_- So i played abit of pool which i sucked , and got alot of complaining that i don't stand right blah3 -.- Then i just sat outside woodgrove by myself. Stupid indian gangsters wanna get flirty but my bro saved me. HAHA -.- Thanks eh, thats why i love em'. They protect me like one kind.

Wtf am i blabbling.

BUT I LOVE YESTERDAY.
Love you much brother.
<3

" i left my head and heart on the dancefloor ..."

2010-03-29T20:58:00.000+08:00

Losing control.

2010-03-22T21:55:00.002+08:00

3 more days to payday and 300 bucks is gone like that :(

Okay can't blame anyone cause my bag has arrived, ultimate love mansxz. Now i'm aiming for this puma bag for school but it cost a 100+. Don't know whats up with me and bags, but i don't think i will get it. Arghhhh, so many things i didn't get to buy. My palettes, my alice in wonderland palette, puma bag. Sigh, hate it when i want something so badly, and i have to give it up. SUCKS OKAY.

Anyway, work has been tiring these days especially with days when there are so many doctors on. I feel so tired at work, i feel like quiting but for the sake of money :( But to think of it, i can't bare to leave either cause i have alot fun there. I learn so much, i will miss talking to my colleagues about guys and many stuffs. Though they like to bully me there, but still i like working there. There are days where patients will remember me and that always make my day you know? Like today, a patient took my name down and wanted to complain about me, this guy step up and defended for me and said i was not in the wrong. I was like, AWWWWWWWWWWW. So sweet okay of them to back me up.

Also, i learn alot of stuffs about women problem and sometimes i just pity them and i feel blessed cause i don't have problems like them. Also, sometimes when i see young girls my age go for abortions. And i feel like the guy just don't have to carry the burden you know? It's the baby in our tummy. We're the one going through the procedure. And the guys are those like heck care heck care one you know. With tattooes all over. God, what's happening..

OKAY NUFF BOUT WORK.

I have been working out, and trying to control my intake of food. Hahaha, i hope my perserverance don't run out though. Going to the gym tomorrow again and i hope im going to sweat like how i did on sunday. The people there are so friendly, and i'm becoming to start liking going to the gym. Hehe, i better go also since my brother pays the fees for me. Hahaha, im such a spoiled girl, NOT.

Kay kay im tired. Just finished my ngaji. AND ME WANNA SLEEP.

k bai.

' Don't you wish that life was just simple? '